In Memory of Charlie

 

6'o'clock news 

 "Student drowning today"

Not the usual
Everyday news
Freshman on campus drowns

today at 4 pm
We view the tragic news

watching as emergency personnel
Place a heavy long dark gray body bag
Into an ambulance

I quickly dial your number
Your answering machine states

Leave a message

"Charlie, call me as soon as you get home!"

Hours pass
We 're still watching TV
I'm feeling restless
My mind tells me,
there is somewhere
I need to go
But where?

9:30 PM
Whoever the Freshman was
Surely it couldn't have been Charlie
Someone would have called by now..
Dad goes to bed

10 PM
A knock on the door
A State Policeman
Introduces a clergyman

6 Years and 3 Months Later

 Life, goes on

I don’t cry very much anymore
I haven’t forgotten you
Nor would I want to
The memory of you grows more precious
You are a part of me still
I have survived
Yet nothing can ever be the same as before
I miss the things that might have been
Yet accept that, they can never be
The dagger that plunged into my heart
That day

Has slowly dissolved into my being
Sometimes I run my fingers across
The shape of it there is my chest
It has become a part of me
The wound's remnants
Not a scar,  but memories

forever

 Within my being

Memories of you have become
an infinite, enduring

 treasure

 kept guarded safely
With the knowledge that
Your love surrounds me and
The afterglow of your presence

surrounds me

Life goes on without you
It's not  the way
I would have chosen 

There was no choice but to accept it

I listen for
God's whispers  of encouragement everyday
He tells me
You are safe there with him
And he promises me
New blessings will come my way

 I pray
Lord surround
All those who
Are grieving,
With your love
Today

---------
 20 years later
it seems like only yesterday